I Wish Pain and Suffering Upon Time Warner Cable

Is it wrong to foster pure, unadulterated hatred toward a corporation? I don’t think it is. Because Time Warner Cable once again can’t pull its head out of its ass, I am stranded without Internet access at my home. It’s another in the long line of outages occurring in the past couple weeks. But this has been the longest — it’s been over a day now, and they have no idea when service may be restored. Of course.

An outage occurred last week, and the customer service representative insisted that it was my cable modem, telling me that the modems that Time Warner issues are often uninspected, refurbished modems. Wonderful. Well, I drove out to the local office to get a new modem, seeing a Time Warner subcontractor working on poles outside. When the new modem I was given provided no change in my interrupted service, I called back and told the next Time Warner person that I had seen someone working outside. After being put on hold for several minutes, they came back on and said, “Oh, yeah, we are doing work in your area . . .” They have no idea what the rest of the company is doing.

They told me to call back in 2 hours if my service wasn’t back on. 3 hours later, I called back. I was told that the first crew screwed up, and they had to send a second crew to fix it. Awesome. Several hours later, I had my service back.

Since then, it’s been intermittent. It worsened over the past weekend, so I called yesterday afternoon. “You need a new modem,” they told me. I expressed how ridiculous this was, since I just got a new modem, but accepted it at first. But the more I thought about it, I realized that I should make absolutely sure that they weren’t just doing work again, and didn’t bother to tell the customer service people again. I called back, and immediately got a special message saying that there was an outage in my area. And I haven’t had service since.

What a company of retards! One part of the company doesn’t have a clue what the other is doing. The service is terrible. I’ve had a rash of rude customer service people, and when I’m promised calls back from higher-level technicians or supervisors, it only really happens about a quarter of the time. I’m sick of it.

So I’m working from Panera Bread this morning. I really feel like a hip, cool, tech-savvy guy now, blogging from Panera wi-fi, sipping coffee. Wishing Time Warner Cable would experience pain and suffering so intense that the Cenobytes from Hellraiser would shit their pants.