The time has come! The stars are aligned! The winners for the Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody Zombie Flash Fiction Contest are announced, and all three are read on the podcast. I am honored to welcome guest readers James Durham and James Melzer! Thank you to everyone who entered their zombie flash fiction. Background music during the readings is from Zombie Influx from Buzzworks.

This week, I review Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009). I also review the more obscure Karloff zombie movie The Ghoul (1933) -- and so does Misfitboy. Brian in Colorado talks about his trip to a Renaissance Festival in this week's review of beers.

My original song is another one of the songs I've written about Zombi 2. It's from the perspective of the doctor's wife, titled "What Am I Gonna Do Now."

Other things I talk about . . .

• The Walking Dead TV show news from Ain't It Cool News
• The Walking Dead contest, motion comic, and set visit with Robert Kirkman
• The Walking Dead Comicon poster (thanks to Ertrov)
• "Another worker plunges to his death at iPhone manufacturer Foxconn"
• "Woman thought she had powers: murder trial"
• "Man claims to see 'demons,' strangles cat and beats up girlfriend"

Other music: Prison | Haggis Rising

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

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Also listen to me on UNLEASHED

Welcome to this week's circus of suffering!

I review a whole bunch of stuff. Danzig's new album Deth Red Sabaoth; The Last Zombie comic written by Brian Keene; The Crazies (2010); and Revolt of the Zombies (1936). Angrypuppy also sent in his review of Revolt.

The Review of Beers is a battle of the titans, by Brian in Colorado. Thanks for the article about the carload of zombies from Brian . . . from elsewhere, and the news about Dead Rising 2 from Zombie Command.

I perform a cover of the obscure Beck song "Satan Gave Me a Taco."

Other music: The Oranges Band | Fecal Coproboys

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listen to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | UNLEASHED

We received 58 entries for the Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody Zombie Flash Fiction Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered. Our judges are evaluating the entries as we speak.

I review the movie Vampire, just released in the UK by Stax Entertainment. Also, I go way back to the very beginnings of zombie cinema and talk about White Zombie(1932). Brian in Colorado gives us this week's Review of Beers, and my original music is a cover of a White Zombie song. Voicemails of Death also abound.

Articles I talk about:

• "Two arrests at Liverpool airport after attempt to smuggle corpse onto flight"
• "London court jails man for killing wife with remote control"
• "Chinese woman has corrective surgery 15 years after horrific car accident twisted her legs the wrong way round"

Other music: Bare Wires

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

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Listen to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | UNLEASHED

The time for submitting your entry for the Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody Zombie Flash Fiction Contest is very short -- the 4th of July! Uncle Sam wants YOU to submit a story!

On the show, I get to talk about the newest release by awesome horror band DieMonsterDie -- Fall To Your Knees. Thanks to Mike at Cadaver Lab for turning me onto these guys! Go to DieMonsterDie's official web site, where you can learn more about them, buy their albums, watch sweet videos, and more. You'll hear the songs "How Many People Do I Have To Kill, Before You Know I Love You" and "A Priest and a Zombie Rent a Fishing Boat as Friends" during the show.

We hear from Ertrov's friend Mitch, Spooky Bill, and CarnageCake.

I watched two movies this week, and give them both a review: Doghouse (2009) and Offspring(2009).

My original music this week continues in the story of Mr. Bass's Planetoid -- "N.O.W."

The articles I talk about:

• Songwriters: Send us your original song on the tragedy in the Gulf (thanks to Misfitboy)
• Salmon-Flavored Vodka
• Motive sought in death of 5-year-old girl killed in Shelton
• Good Samaritan saves woman with severed legs

Some guy named Root Rot appears on the latest Dark Hours podcast.

New horror site: the Corpse Collective.

Check out Eric S. Brown's Bigfoot War.

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listen to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | UNLEASHED

This week, I get to talk to the director of Bikini Girls on Ice, Geoff Klein. I reviewed the movie a couple weeks back -- visit its web site.

I got a Voicemail of Death from Evil Nate, and Brian in Colorado sent in this week's "Review of Beers."

Articles I talk about . . .

• "Husband, Sister Dug Up From Graves"
• "Killer ate victim 'to steal soul'"
• "State Backing Films Says Cannibal is Deal-Breaker"
• "Jeremy London Survives Bizarre Kidnapping Incident"

I review the movie Diary of a Bad Lad, which is arriving in the UK on DVD on June 28, 2010. Check the film out at its official web site.

Go listen to The 13 Skulls podcast, where the host TJ talks about the unexplained. Definitely worth subscribing to!

Original Music: From my old podcast (Podcast M). "Short Long Long Short Long Wait"

Other Music: The Black Bug | The Italian Zombie Movie | Spose (thanks to Misfitboy)

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listen to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | UNLEASHED

This week I'm joined by Crash and Russy from the horror rock band Boy Eats Gurl. You can listen to them and find out more about them on their web site, on their MySpace page, and on their Facebook page.

Don't forget to send your 500-word zombie flash fiction in for the contest by July 4.

I'll tell you all about my adventures in going to see Phish this past weekend in Ohio. You'll hear a lot of Voicemails of Death from a lot of wonderful people. I review the movies Army of Darkness (1993) and the upcoming DVD release of Resurrecting the Streetwalker (2009). I talk about a few news articles that caught my attention, as well as bringing you brand new original music.

• "Cannibal sliced off parts of grandmother and ate them.. while she was still alive"
• "NC Man Claims Close Encounter With Blond Bigfoot"
• "The Pentagon's Newest Project: Zombies"

Other Music on the Show: Boy Eats Gurl | Phish

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listen to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | Library of Horror | UNLEASHED

Of all the bands I've gone out to see throughout my life -- starting with the Pittsburgh stop of They Might Be Giants' Apollo 18 tour when I was 15 -- Phish is the most wonderful, consistent group I've seen. Even if you just listen to any of their readily-available live recordings, you'll hear that they strive to stretch the bounds of their music and deliver new experiences to their audience. And to rock.

Last night was a fantastic Phish show. The highlights for me were "Sample in a Jar," "Mike's Song" segued into "Weekapaug Groove," "Character Zero," and "The Squirming Coil" as their encore/closer. I always get chills when Page pounds out the last bars of that one.

I took all these pictures on my Blackberry Storm, so the quality sucks on some of them.

The crowd was thick, hot, and impatient. Bottlenecks going in, and worse bottlenecks trying to get out afterward.

The weatherman called for scattered thunderstorms, but it never rained until well after the show. While I'm glad that we didn't get dumped on while Phish played, I was actually praying for the rains to come and alleviate the humidity. I was coated in sweat the whole time.

Phish has the best light show. Period. Chris Kuroda is a brilliant lighting designer, and is as much a part of the band as any of the four playing on stage.

Balloon Guy. This hippie kept running through the crowd with ornate balloon animals, and seemed to really like running around the area we were standing in.

Share and Enjoy:

]]> http://midnightcorey.com/2010/06/phish-blossom-cuyahoga-falls-oh-6-12-10/feed/ 3 http://midnightcorey.com/2010/06/midnight-corey-4/ http://midnightcorey.com/2010/06/midnight-corey-4/#comments Thu, 10 Jun 2010 13:11:06 +0000 Midnight Corey http://midnightcorey.com/?p=390

We're all raising awareness this week about all the awareness-raising going on.

I talk about the Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody Zombie Flash Fiction Contest, and how awesome it is. I encourage you all to read Bryan Wolford's first serial novel, 48 Pieces. I make a few comments about the final episode of Lost. Also, I bring up the Twitter confrontation that went down earlier this week. Fun stuff! I tried the beer that supposedly tastes like pot: Hazed & Infused Dry-Hopped Ale by Boulder Beer Company. Spooky Bill called in this week's single voicemail.

And listen closely, as I reveal how my parents tell me they decided on my name.

Three movie reviews this week: Bikini Girls on Ice (2010), Kill Your Idols (2004), and Dead Moon Rising (2007).

My original music for you this week is another cover. I owe Creedence Clearwater Revival and John Fogerty a huge apology for my version of "Bad Moon Rising."

Other music on the show: Rad Bear | Phish

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listen to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | Library of Horror | UNLEASHED

Here's what you gotta do:

We want a zombie story from you. It has to be completely original, and be no longer than 500 words. Here's a good article to help get you familiarized with flash fiction if you're new to it.

Type it up, put it into the body of an email message (along with your name), and send it to: corey AT midnightcorey DOT com. Please put "Zombie Flash Fiction Contest" in the subject line.

All the entries will be read by Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody, and they will decide on the top three stories.

The prizes:

• First Place: Bigfoot War by Eric S. Brown; Empire (first edition, signed) by David Dunwoody
• Second Place: How the West Went to Hell (signed) by Eric S. Brown; UNBOUND & Other Tales (signed) by David Dunwoody
• Third Place: Kinberra Down (signed) by Eric S. Brown and Jessy Marie Roberts

The three winners will also be read on an upcoming episode of Midnight Corey's podcast.

The deadline:

Your entries must be received by 11:59pm on July 4, 2010. Say happy birthday to America by writing a 500-word zombie gorefest!

The contest has officially begun, so start writing! Multiple submissions are allowed (in separate emails, please), but please limit to 3 entries per person.

A huge thank you goes out to Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody for offering their books and judging expertise!

I'm pleased to welcome my friend Eric S. Brown to the podcast this week! We talk about all kinds of things: War of the Worlds Plus Blood, Guts and Zombies Simon & Schuster pre-order . . . Bigfoot War is his "best non-zombie book" . . . the sequel to Rats from Season of Rot is titled Undead Down Under and comes out this October in hardcover . . . Brethren of the Dead, the sequel to The Queen, comes out next year . . . his demon/zombie western How the West Went to Hell . . . the post-apocalyptic zombie western The Weaponer will be released later this year . . . his upcoming comic Agent Death and the Angels . . . Anti-Heroes, his upcoming book with David Dunwoody . . . frozen alien planet book Kinberra Down . . . and an upcoming contest!

I ramble about:

• Tales from the Grave (2006)
• Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360)
• HopDevil Ale by Victory Brewing
• Voicemails
• First image from The Walking Dead TV show

Original Music: 7 (originally by Prince)

Music: Pissed Jeans | Mr. Bungle

Voicemail: 814-806-2828

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listening to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | Library of Horror | UNLEASHED

The 2-year-old Indonesian smoker loves to listen to my podcast with his first smokes of the day.

This week, I address my concerns with the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation, movies and TV shows I've been watching, music, and lots more. I review the zombie movie Killing Spree (1987), and play my song "Blood Comes From Your Throat" (watch the video).

There are also Voicemails of Death this week.

Zombie Stuff:

• Day by Day Armageddon: Beyond Exile can be pre-ordered at Amazon.com
• African zombie movie The Dead is playing at Cannes | stills/trailer | hardships | Facebook group
• Day of the Dead to be remade . . . in 3D!
• Survival of the Dead DVD and "Ultimate Undead Edition" Blu-ray to be released in the US on August 24

The Microsoft zombie vs. shark commercial

Music: Deathraid | The Intelligence

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listening to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | Library of Horror | UNLEASHED

This is a song about Susan. I originally wrote it faster and heavier, but was never really happy with the arrangement and my vocals. It kinda sucks. So I reworked the whole song, and even made a little video to go along with it that follows the story.

I've decided to podcast again . . . why not. Call me and leave your comments on the resurrected Voicemail of Death: 814.806.2828, or leave your comments on the blog.

I ramble about:

• George Romero
• Bled White (2009)
• The Zombie Combat Manual
• Attack of the Vegan Zombies (2010)
• writing
• original music: "Bend That Light"

Music: The Styrenes

Subscribe to Midnight Corey: RSS | iTunes

Listening to me on other podcasts: Library of the Living Dead | Library of Horror | UNLEASHED

Edmund Fizgerald Porter, Great Lakes Brewing

The first thing that flashed through my mind was my bone-crunching version of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, which I had put a lot of work into a couple weeks ago. Finding this beer is clearly more than a coincidence. However, being that I wasn't quite sure what a porter was, I almost passed it up. The label promised a taste that is "smoky, robust, dark and bittersweet." After a few minutes of deliberation, I finally decided to give it a try. It was $8.49 for a sixer, which is relatively reasonable at Wegman's.

It turns out that porters are pretty heavy. Not quite like a stout, but still very dark and rich. The description on the bottle is accurate, with the warmness of chocolate and coffee in the forefront. I'm surprised that it's only 5.8% ABV, as I'm used to darker beers being stronger. On the initial sip, I wasn't too sure I'd be able to drink more than one or two, the taste was so rich. Not bad by any means, but very full. Well, let me tell you this: it's not all that hard to drink more than a couple. In fact, it gets easier and easier.

It turns out that Cleveland has managed to do something right, as that is where Great Lakes Brewing is located.

And it turns out that I officially like porters (so far). It's not a party beer, but rather one to sit down and enjoy with a good hearty dinner -- or on a sinking vessel on Lake Superior. I recommend it!

I love this book. It's a comprehensive, entertaining guide for zombie fighting, written in a military style. In this well-organized and well-written manual, Ma covers everything you need to know about fighting the living dead, complete with helpful illustrations and "Combat Reports" -- interviews and accounts of encounters with zombies. It's a great blend of straightforward instruction and short storytelling.

The first section covers the facts about zombies: what they are, what they aren't, and how they function. I was particularly thrilled with the first misconception discussed: that zombies can run.

Next, the focus is turned to those fighting the zombies. Physical fitness, health and wellness are discussed in terms of zombie combat, so that those confronting the living dead can prepare as much as possible. A lot of time is spent on weapons of all kinds -- traditional battle weapons, swords, knives, blades, clubs, etc. -- as well as weapons that can be found in certain settings: the farm, the garage, the kitchen, and more.

Ma brings it all together with the final section, Combat Strategies and Techniques. Your chances of success in a skirmish with the undead will soar as all kinds of techniques and situations are covered.

"For those who have never encountered a walking cadaver, the techniques described in this section may seem vicious, brutal, perhaps even excessive and gratuitous."

Of course, the humor is implicit. The straightforward, deadpan delivery of the manual and conversational tones of the Combat Reports are inherently funny when the subject is zombies.

It's a great read. Roger Ma's zombie knowledge is unparallelled, and I can only hope to have him at my side during the next zombie outbreak. Go buy The Zombie Combat Manual right now.

Rating: 10/10

Bled White web site

The movie takes place after the zombie apocalypse has struck, and what's left of society is reordering itself to deal with the flesh-hungry "zombies." People are doing whatever it takes to survive, and we follow several plot lines that intertwine. We follow two hit men, a family, and a couple running a hotel. The scenes aren't necessarily chronological, creating a darker kind of Pulp Fiction feel. Things happen at the beginning of the movie that don't quite make sense until it's connected to something else later on.

The filmmakers explore some interesting territory and have come up with some original ideas -- a big plus in my book. We see the conflict between those who believe in "killing" the zombies and those who want to them" live" in hopes of a cure being discovered. Themes of cannibalism, cheating, and survival vs. killing are also in the mix.

The characters are pretty nicely developed, and the actors perform much better than I was hoping for. Some are excellent (the lead hit men), some are mediocre, but none are bad.

On a technical level, they did a great job with a low budget. The whole movie is high-contrast, allowing for a lot of lights and shadows. They managed to film the whole thing during the winter, something not often seen in zombie movies. It works really well. Overall, the shot selection and cinematography were well done. The suspense they've created is wonderful. The editing and pacing, along with the good score and sound effects, make for great atmosphere.

Now for the zombies. Even though they run, they look good: pale with lots of blood and light blue cloudy eyes. The makeup is good -- they must have spent a fortune in blue contacts. Nothing looked fake. However, the zombies growl and roar and sound demonic -- a little too over-the-top for me. This could have been just as scary (probably scarier) with slow zombies.

The effects were good, and they kept it mostly practical. They used some digital effects -- fire, gunshot flares, clouds going over the moon, etc. -- but they don't overindulge in digital effects like a lot of low-budget movies tend to do.

All in all, this is a very good low-budget movie -- fun and gory. Also a breath of fresh air in the over-saturated zombie movie market.

Rating: 7/10

But then things went weird for the band. Creative differences began to show through on Digimortal, the followup to Obsolete. It wasn't a great album, and the band seemed to be in limbo for a while. Madman guitarist Dino Cazares left the band after a falling-out with vocalist Burton C. Bell. Bassist Christian Olde Wolbers switched to guitar, Byron Stroud (from Strapping Young Lad) took over on bass, and Raymond Herrera remained on drums.

They released Archetype -- which I love. A few years later came Transgression, which was lukewarm (although I'd still listen to that over Digimortal any day). I figured they were still growing with the rearranged lineup, although they were pulling away from the element of death metal and getting awful pop-sounding on some tracks (like that U2 cover?!).

Then they kind of wandered away from each other. Christian and Herrera began playing in Arkaea, and Burton decided to reform Fear Factory with Dino back on guitar, Gene Hoglan (from Strapping Young Lad) on drums, and Byron remaining on bass. Controversy abounds, and you can read all the (supposed) details on the Wikipedia page.

While I love Fear Factory, I became disinterested in them. All the bickering and problems kind of turned me off. I'm not fully convinced that I like Burton or Dino. I like the Strapping Young Lad guys, Christian and Raymond.

Which brings me back to my original statement: I was hesitant to pick up their February 2010 release, Mechanize.

And to be honest, this is about what you would expect from a Fear Factory album. Dino has come up with some really cool riffs, and the mega-robot-drummer Hoglan adds larger-than-life heaviness to the mix. Burton adds some welcome growls this time around, but his vocals aren't anything you haven't heard before. He maintains his ability to do death metal screams and melodic singing within the same song, which ain't easy.

While this is an album I'll probably listen to fairly regularly, it's really nothing new in the realm of Fear Factory. At times I feel like I'm listening to Demanufacture or Obsolete. I'm fairly certain that the purpose of this album was to re-establish cred with an increasingly disillusioned fan base.

Innovation it isn't. However, it's an enjoyable album that FF fans will appreciate. Hopefully, Mechanize is a stepping stone to further growth and creativity in the band.

Rating: 7/10

Order your copy from CreateSpace or Amazon, or check out the official web site.

Why? They were each $19.99.

The teenage guy behind the counter wasn't impressed by what I was buying. "Something to keep you busy," he dully remarked as he bagged them.

I knew neither of these games were big hits -- they both received pretty lukewarm reviews. But something pulled me toward these games. Today, let me tell you about Prototype.

This is an amazing game. You're an shapeshifting anti-hero given free reign in New York City. You can consume people and steal their memories and appearance. Your powers include super jumps, super strength, super speed, and a vast array of weapons (like the giant claws seen above). As you go through the city slaughtering the police and military, you earn more experience, which rewards you with more powers and stronger abilities.

Sure, there's some kind of story that goes along with it. But it's so much fun to terrorize the good citizens of New York, that I really don't care about actually doing the missions. I'm not ignoring them completely -- you have to complete missions to gain more abilities and powers -- but I spend an enormous amount of time between missions bringing death and destruction to the city.

My only real complaint is that there's not much variation in the scenery or the people throughout the city. The playable map is very large, but everything pretty much looks the same.

I love this game. It's a steal right now for twenty bucks -- go get it.

A special thanks to Jason from SRS Cinema for really hooking me up this weekend! It was great to meet and hang out with him.

Kyra Schon was the first guest I talked to, and she was really nice. She was selling really cool, high-contrast Karen Cooper  posters, and I couldn't resist picking one up.

Howard Sherman played my favorite zombie: Bub from Day of the Dead (1985). Great guy!

Ian McCulloch was the lead actor in Zombie (1979), and is completely astonished by the popularity of the movie. One thing that surprised me about Mr. McCulloch is that he told me he's never seen any of Romero's zombie movies -- he said he just doesn't have the desire to. He also told me that he met Romero recently, and Romero refuses to watch Zombie (or any of its sequels) because he thinks they're all ripoffs of his work.

Al Cliver played Brian in Zombie. I learned some fascinating things from Mr. Cliver -- namely that Brian's voice in Zombie is not his. All his lines were overdubbed, and he doesn't know who did them. Also, I asked him what it was like to work with Lucio Fulci. He responded, "He was a son of a bitch." He explained that despite Fulci's reported temperament, they became good friends and made many films together.

You know who Ottaviano Dell'Acqua is, whether you realize it or not. He's the iconic Conquistador zombie that appears on the majority of Zombie materials (including my shirt). He was a really fun guy, and very energetic.

I also talked with Richard Johnson, who was really cool. For some reason I didn't think to snap a picture with him. I love his first line in Zombie: "The boat can leave now. Tell the crew."

Beatrice Ring played the lead role in Zombi 3 (1988), and is every bit as beautiful as she was when she made the movie. Zombie 3 is notorious for the nightmarish production it went through -- Lucio Fulci directed most of it, but later on, Bruno Mattei stepped in to finish it at the insistence of the studio. I asked Beatrice about how crazy the process was, and she said that it wasn't as big a deal as everyone makes it out to be. She worked with Fulci the whole time, and wasn't even aware of Mattei's part in it. "It happens all the time, in lots of movies," she explained when she talked about reshoots and studios bringing in a different director to finish a film.

When I was at Horror Realm last fall, I somehow missed speaking with Jim Krut, the helicopter zombie from Dawn of the Dead (1978). So I made sure that I got to meet him this time around, and I'm glad I did. He's very tall, and fun to talk to.

Gary Ugarek is the creator of Deadlands: The Rising and Deadlands 2: Trapped, and was there to support Jim Krut, who also starred in Deadlands 2. I ended up talking to Gary for a long time, and he's a really down-to-earth guy.

This is the second time I've met Tom Savini. I'm a huge fan of his work, and he's truly a master of what he does. Despite that, I haven't been very impressed with him personally. Both times I've talked to him, he seems annoyed that I'm there -- it's like he doesn't want to be there at all. Disappointing.

It was a blast hanging out with Tom Berdinski and the cast/crew from The Italian Zombie Movie. Tom is a good friend, and I was excited to meet him and others whose passion went into these unforgettable films. They truly know how to have a good time. And if you haven't seen parts 1 and 2 of The Italian Zombie Movie, you're definitely missing out on something special -- so go buy it!

Speaking of good friends, here's one that you'll all know -- Misfitboy. He's every bit as cool as he comes across in his reviews, and I was honored to hang out and have a few drinks with him and Mrs. Misfitboy.

This double 8-string electric guitar made specially for Saw V is a thing of beauty. It belongs to Sonny Lombardozzi, whose shredding skills are inhuman. He's a really cool guy, and now that I've checked out his music, I'm a huge fan! Find out more about Sonny at his web site.

I almost had my jugular ripped out.

What happens at Cinema Wasteland stays at Cinema Wasteland.

Okay, enough history lessons -- let's get to the plot. By the way, the 3D version of Creature from the Black Lagoon is amazing if you can find it. It does have great underwater effects! A large explosion is seen as a narrator gives a short speech on earth. The film then shows a beach with strange footprints coming out of the water. The waves slowly wash over them, leaving the viewer the obvious question: what was it?

Meanwhile, scientists are digging into a wall of dirt and rock, uncovering an odd-looking skeletal hand. Later that night, two men are wakened in their tent by a monstrous shadow. The thing tears down the tent, slashes one man with a sharp claw, and kills both of them. The skeletal claw is sent to a lab so it can be determined what species it is from. Dr. Carl Maia, who discovered the hand, assembles a crew of scientists to find more fossils in the "black lagoon." Among the crew are Dr. David Reed, Kay Laurence, Dr. Mark Williams and Dr. Edwin Thompson. They board the boat, the "Rita," driven by Lucas, who tells them a tale of "gill-man," a legendary creature who, millions of years ago, may have been a throwback to the human and amphibious race -- a cross-breed, if you will. It is then we get our first glimpse of the creature, coming up from the lagoon to grab a large bird and pull it down to the deep lagoon.

It soon becomes apparent that the legend is real and two battles begin. One is for the capture of the creature for study purposes, or to let it stay in its natural environment. Second is the ever-famous battle for the love of a woman (Kay), which was common in these types of films. In a brilliant scene, Kay goes for a swim in the lagoon. The creature sees her and has never witnessed such beauty before, swimming inches away from her, slightly grazing her leg, wondering what she is. Kay panics and gets out of the water. The gill-man then begins his pursue of Kay by jumping onto the boat and causing chaos.

Eventually it is decided that the scientists will use rotenone (a drug that is used to capture fish). Then they put the creature in a cage, but unfortunately it doesn't hold the beast for long. The creature breaks out and seriously injures Dr Thompson. Lucas thinks it's time to leave the cursed lagoon, but cannot, because the creature has blocked off the only exit with giant logs. Williams decides to go underwater to try to remove the debris, but is confronted by the gill-man and is killed. Using the rotenone on the creature gives Dr. Reed enough time to remove the barricade created by the gill-man. Later that night, the gill-man comes on board, kidnapping Kay and taking her to his cave somewhere within the lagoon. Yes, its' like King Kong underwater, but I'm fine with that! The rest of the team manages to find the gill-man's subterranean lair, and after a brief fight the creature is shot and falls into the darkest depths of the lagoon.

This is without a doubt my favorite Universal monster film, and seeing it in the 3D form (the way it was introduced to American audiences) was amazing, especially the underwater shots! Ben Chapman, who played the creature, would have to hold his breath for over a minute in some scenes.

On a scale from 1-10, Creature from the Black Lagoon is a perfect 10! If you should happen to want to buy the movie, I would recommend the legacy collection. It comes with all three creature films, several documentaries, anda lot of other photos, trailers, etc. You can get it at Amazon.com for around $20 -- a steal in my book.

Well, that's it for this time around. Once again, thanks to Corey for allowing me to continue reviewing some of the drive-in classics! See you at the drive-ins! This is Misfit boy and I'm out!

I learned something funny from the girl who worked at Burger King on Clifton Hill, the main tourist drag leading to the falls. This was the coolest Burger King I've ever been to -- nothing special about the inside, but the outside featured a giant Frankenstein monster clutching a burger.

Since American dollars and Canadian dollars are so close in value right now, it's not really worth doing the currency exchange thing. Every place we spent money at in Canada accepted American dollars, and gave change in Canadian dollars. The girl who helped us at Burger King was thrilled when I happily accepted Canadian dollars as change. She told us that Americans get upset all the time about having to accept Canadian money, calling it "fake" or "monopoly money." She seemed genuinely offended at this.

What I took away from my trip to Canada is this: you gotta respect their cash.

1. The Sheetz parking lot, Kittanning, PA

This was probably around 1998. I was living in a very small apartment just across the alley from the Sheetz convenience store in Kittanning, PA. I was just getting something to eat there before I went to the bank to cash my paycheck. A young Asian guy came up to me and asked if I'd like to get some really awesome speakers for next to nothing. I checked them out; they were tall Dynalab speakers in impressive-looking packaging. He and the driver of the van showed me magazines that priced the speakers at $1299.

The warehouse overstocked his van, giving him 6 but only invoicing for 4, he said. He wanted to get rid of them before they got back to the warehouse, where they would have to return the speakers. So the Asian guy asked me for $600. I had nothing close to that amount of money available, going to college full-time and working part-time. All I could spare was $200, but only after I cashed my paycheck.

They agreed, giving me an invoice saying something about two speakers being paid for. They put the speakers in my trunk and followed me to the bank. I gave them the cash and split.

My plan was to sell the speakers and make a few bucks. I didn't have Internet access at my place, so I went to my parents' house and got online. I was unhappy to discover that Dynalab speakers were part of the White Van Speaker Scam. But I took out a free ad somewhere asking $600 for them. Never heard anything. I called the number on the invoice, which indicated that the company was based out of Export, PA. I got an answering machine, and I left a message, but never heard back.

So the speakers sat at my apartment for a couple weeks. One weekend, I had a bunch of people spend the night after my friend Tony's wedding. One was a fraternity brother, and he was really interested in the speakers. He gave me cash down on them, and sent me the rest when he got back home. I made $100 bucks on them, and he kinda got screwed.

2. Parking lot at the Indiana University of Pennsylvania

This wasn't long after the first encounter. I was commuting to the main campus of the Indiana University of Pennsylvania, and would often go back and forth to my car during the day. After my final class one day, a white van was prowling around the parking lot beside the football field where I had parked. When I neared, a man leaned out the passenger-side window -- the Asian guy!

He asked if I wanted to look at some speakers, and I just shook my head and grinned. This pissed him off, and he scowled at me, flipping me off. I didn't expect that! They drove away.

3. Millcreek Mall parking lot, Erie, PA

A couple years ago I came out of the mall and was about to get into my car. A white van pulled up to me, and a guy asked if I wanted to buy some speakers. Once again, I shook my head. "No," I smiled.

When they drove away, I decided to take action. I followed their van in my car and called the police. I explained that I had been ripped off by guys like these, and that they approached me at the mall. The police said they wouldn't do anything -- basically blowing me off. The white van turned onto the interstate, and I just continued home.

What did I learn?

Why didn't I think of this first?! Tricking people into buying crappy speakers out of a van for 2000% profit, with the blessing of the law enforcement. It's amazing what people can get away with.

I saved my progress on the computer and went downstairs. Evening had already come, and I desperately wanted to focus on my work – I needed to get ahead so I could justify leaving town for a couple days to visit my brother in the next state.

I figured the cat had eaten something she shouldn't have. A year ago, I brought a new plant to the house, unaware that it was poisonous to cats. She chewed on a stalk of it and spent the night at the animal hospital. All I could hope for this time was that she wouldn't throw up on the carpet – that was horrible to clean up.

Rounding the corner to the kitchen, I stopped when I saw her white and gray stripes in the middle of the room. She buried her face in the rug under the table, her sides pumping in and out as her breathing accelerated.

Crouching down, I whistled to her. “Jasmine, come here girl.”

She took no notice, letting out another pitiful moan.

I whistled again with the same result. I moved closer to her, but hesitated – Jasmine could get downright vicious when feeling threatened, annoyed, or sick. One second she'd be purring on your lap, and the next she'd tear into your arm with her teeth. The scars on my hands were a testament to the battles we'd fought.

This was one of those situations: she didn't want to be bothered. But I reached for her anyway, wanting to move her off of the rug. She spun around, baring her teeth in a wide-eyed hiss, the hair on her back standing on end. I flinched at the wild look – I'd never seen her that angry before.

That's when I began to think I had lost my mind. Too much work that week; too many long days; not nearly enough sleep.

The cat grew. Jasmine had weighed a healthy ten pounds, but her size more than doubled right in front of me. Joints popped and bones adjusted to accommodate her new girth. Her ears grew longer, and two small bloody horns erupted from her forehead. New teeth pushed through her gums and her jaw expanded to accommodate them, creating a jagged smile. Another more menacing hiss escaped as her mouth opened wider.

Her toes cracked as giant claws grew into place, burrowing into the thick brown rug. Her tail lengthened, swatting the chairs from under the table.

Terror clutched me – it was hard to breathe. Jasmine's eyes expanded, then went completely black: shark eyes. They were eyes that held nothing, pulling me in. My heart thumped and blood pounded into my head. I fought to take a breath, weakened at the sight of Jasmine's transformation, all of which had happened within a few seconds.

She hunched down. I threw my arms up in front of me as Jasmine launched, baring her teeth and drawing up her claws. I ducked, swatting her to the side and somehow avoiding her swinging nails. The cat-thing sprang back to its feet and lay its ears back, arching its back for another attack.

On my hands and knees, I scooted around the island in the middle of the kitchen, out of Jasmine's sight. Her claws clicked off the tile as she followed, her distorted shadow slinking along the tile. I suddenly jumped to my feet and ran. Jasmine hissed and spat.

She caught up with me on the stairs, slicing the back of my heel with her claw. I felt the blood trickling down my foot as I dived into my office, slamming the door behind me. Jasmine hit the door so hard that a tall lamp in the corner tipped over, knocking a picture off the wall. It snapped apart when it hit the floor, cracking the glass.

I cursed, locking the door and collapsing into the soft desk chair. In the darkness I noticed small dark blotches on the carpet – blood from my foot. The door thudded again and I flinched, shaking. Jasmine screeched, shaking the walls with every assault on the door.

The only escape was through the window. The desk blocked it, and I had to awkwardly bend over it to slide the glass up. A rush of frigid winter air smacked my face. As thud after booming thud began to crack the door, I worked the screen loose and shoved it out.

The second floor window was about twelve feet up from the snow-dusted ground. Only in my pajama pants, t-shirt and socks, I crawled over the desk, sending pens, paper, and folders all over the floor. I shifted around and stuck my feet out, desperately grasping for the edge as I slid through.

The door burst open and Jasmine howled, crashing into the room. My fingers slipped from the edge of the window and I fell, slamming to the frozen ground feet-first. My lower legs exploded with pain – there wasn't enough snow on the ground to break the fall. Gritting my teeth, I rolled over and rose up onto my throbbing legs.

Voices. I couldn't understand what they said, but they sounded like they came from the front of the neighbors' house. I moved my stiffening legs as fast as I could, clenching my jaw as the pain welled up, hearing the clicking of the Jasmine-beast as she came to the open window above.

I didn't look back, pushing off the corner of my house and hobbling over to the neighbors'. Rounding the front of the house, I stopped and breathed in relief when I saw them. Marcus and his wife Summer stood in their driveway, silhouetted by the single light fixture on the garage.

The pain was too much for me and my knees buckled. I groaned when my legs struck the hard turf, and I fell backwards into the drifted snow.

Marcus calmly made his way over to me. He crouched down.

Engulfed in pain, I thrust a hand to him, gasping for his help. He moved closer, bringing his face down to mine.

His features came into clear view, even in the darkness. Inches from me, he opened his mouth to reveal oozing, jagged teeth. Bones creaked as he smiled.

Seconds before I died, I caught a glimpse of his eyes – black shark eyes. They captured my gaze as Marcus slashed my throat with his thick, pointed nails. A jet of blood splashed onto his face, wrinkled and distorted from its former youthful appearance. Summer appeared as I blacked out, a lurking shadow behind Marcus. They tore into me.

So here is the plot. "For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action," narrates the voice at the start of the film. A volcano erupts on a distant island and causes tremors across the North Pole, causing a giant glacier to crack and collapse, revealing our giant menace (yes, a giant insect in the North Pole -- don’t ask, I don’t know either). OK, insert even more stock footage, and finally 15 or 16 minutes into the picture the film finally starts. On a small military station manned by two men, a distant buzzing sound is heard before the roof collapses on top of them. Meanwhile, Colonel Joe Parkman is worried that something is wrong with the station, so he sends out a search team. When they arrive they find the station is destroyed. A giant claw falls on top of them, nearly crushing the two searchers (he he, giant claw)! They take it back to the lab for investigation. After more [YAWN] chattering they finally figure out what it is! Yeah. They send out a plane to see if they can find it after it appears on the radar, and the plane never comes back. Surprise [insert more boring dialogue] and then the mantis finally strikes! OK, as if the poor Eskimos don’t have enough to deal with -- polar bears, living in ice, gamera at one point (never vacation in the north pole) -- the mantis attacks and the Eskimos flee.

The giant claw, as I referred to earlier, is actually a hook from the mantises giant pinchers. MORE DRAMA THAN THE MIDNIGHT PODCAST!!! Sorry Corey. Here comes the giant puppet! The mantis shows itself eventually right outside the base of Red Eagle One, as it's referred to. Seeking a warmer climate, the mantis moves towards the USA. OK, enough already, the mantis tours Washington and New York, where it is rammed by Parkman and bails out of the plane at the last second -- that was close! In the end, the mantis is trapped in a highway tunnel under the streets of New York!

Spoiler alert!! The mantis hides in the tunnels of New York, wounded and dying. Then the military comes in to gas the creature. The end.

On a scale from 1-10 I would give this a 4, BUT the MST3K version would be a 9! Go figure. Thanks Corey, and I'll see you at the drive-ins for Creature from the Black Lagoon! This is misfit boy and I’m out!

http://dr-pus.podomatic.com/entry/2010-03-20T20_13_04-07_00

A Little Dead Podcast » A Little Comic Book Update (for 03 March 2010)
My friends at A Little Dead Podcast asked me to review the 4-issue release of The Crazies, and I had a great time doing so.

Dead Lantern Splattercast » The 3rd Annual Splatcademy Awards
This was fun, as I gave a highly slanderous presentation for Best Director.

These were some of my favorites. Radiation played a big role in these films, along with atomic test sites. Now there is a documentary out there narrated by Billy Mummy called Attack of the 50 ft. Monster Mania -- it's an amazing doc. That goes through the years of giant bug and monster films.

Universal Pictures didn’t release this film on DVD until 2006. I, on the other hand, bought a laser disc transfer at a horror convention for $20 (pirates that sell copied movies should have their Achilles tendon cut and forced to run a marathon). But anyway, the actor that stars in this film is one of my all-time favorite actors, Mr. John Agar. He was in films such as The Mole People, Revenge of the Creature, The Brain from Planet Arous, and King Kong (1976) (he had a cameo as a city official), among many others.

Now, back in the 50’s, these types of films were popping up at drive-ins all across the country. Kids couldn’t get enough of them! I think the only bugs that were never made into monster movies were dung beetles and horse flies. I mean, Hollywood was pumping these films out left and right.

So here is the plot:

A man staggers through the Arizona desert until he collapses, and we see his face is deformed beyond recognition. The reason: 2 scientists have injected themselves with a growth serum that makes food grow twice its normal size for the growing number of people in the world. This experiment is being conducted by Professor Deemer a recluse who has decided to try his serum on lab animals (guinea pigs, lab mice, rabbits, and a TARANTULA). The animals are growing at an alarming rate. As he is working on his experiments, Paul (his other assistant) enters the room with a mangled face that only a mother could love, and injects Deemer with the serum. A fight ensues and a fire breaks out. Glass starts to shatter and the 3-foot tarantula escapes while Deemer puts out the fire. Deemer buries Paul in the desert and must find a replacement. Local authorities find the first assistant (Eric) and conclude that the cause of death is acromegaly,a rare disease. They ask Deemer if they can conduct an autopsy, and he declines. Dr. Matt Hastings (played by Agar) is upset by this, as the sheriff decided Deemer knows more about it than Matt. The next day Deemer invites a new assistant, Stephanie Clayton (or Steve as she is referred to), to work with him.

Meanwhile, the tarantula is loose and attacks a herd of horses. A car accident is discovered and the victims were devoured. Matt finds a pool of liquid by the remains and confirms it's insect venom. As the film moves on, Matt and Steve begin a relationship as the tarantula is causing a deadly rampage across Arizona (the two drunks that get eaten by the tarantula is a classic 50’s death scene). Back at the lab, Steve has growing concerns about Deemer, who is beginning to deform also. He finally tells Matt and Steve what is going on and that the tarantula escaped.

Then, one evening as Steve is getting ready for bed, the tarantula (now the size of a house) is staring at her through the window! The tarantula destroys the house killing deemer but Matt shows up in time to save Steve. The tarantula moves into the small town and attacks. Machine guns and dynamite are ineffective, so it's time to call the military.

SPOILER ALERT!

The military sends in fighter planes to drop napalm on the giant beast, and guess who the jet squadron leader is? Why, it's none other than Mr. Gran Torino himself, Clint Eastwood! The napalm burns the tarantula and destroys it at the end, right before it enters the town.

I loved this film, and I would have to give it at least an 8 out of 10 for pure fun and enjoyment. If you like this one, you should also try Earth vs. the Spider -- the MST3K version is hilarious!

Well that's it for Tarantula! See you next time at the drive-ins! This is misfit boy and I’m out!

Here’s the plot:

Mitch MacAfee (played by Jeff Morrow, who stared in such epic films as The Creature Walks Among Us, Kronos, and This Island Earth -- he came back to the horror genre in 1971 for Octaman) is running radar tests while flying his plane when he spots a UFO. Nothing shows up on the radar screen but the military sends out a squadron of jets to investigate. Nothing is found. When Mitch returns to base, army officials are furious with him. Eventually they start to take him seriously after planes start to disappear.

The reason: a bird, “a bird as big as a battleship,” has been devouring plane after plane and their crews. This giant bird is from outer space and is even equipped with a force shield! Now it's up to Mitch, his mathematician girlfriend, and the military to stop the winged horror! Mitch finds the bird's giant egg and shoots it full of holes. This enrages the creature and it heads right towards New York City. Mitch and some scientists create some sort of anti-matter ray gun to stop the menace. In case anyone has yet to see this film, I wont give away the ending -- BUT I will say it's nothing short of hilarious. At one point in the film, the Giant Claw destroys major buildings in New York.

It’s a film worth watching. Many horror hosts of the 70’s would play this film quite a bit. And the bird itself looks like Warner Bros. cartoon character Beaky Buzzard. Yes, it looks that bad, but I would give it a 5 out of 10 for bad one-liners and even a space ship can be seen in the distance (stock footage from Earth vs. the Flying Saucers was even used!). Give it a watch -- after all, it's not a long film, and who wouldn’t wanna see one of the worst monster films ever made??!!

Well, see ya next time at the drive-ins! This is misfit boy and I’m out!

Days of the Drive-Ins

The drive in days are long gone (well most of them anyway). I used to love going on the weekend to see some of my favorite horror films. Unfortunately not many were shown at the nearest one by me. I always wondered how great it would be to raise some money & show a “movie madness” night. Imagine going to see Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead at the drive-in! Or even older horror films from the 50’s. well, those are the films I will be talking about. We're going back in time when CGI had no definition. Special effects consisted of wires, puppets, and of course cheap makeup. But to me, those were the best.

I’m so nostalgic a person (I know this sounds dumb) I would take a drive-in DVD I have with a bunch of promos that they would show in the good old days, and I would splice it together with some of my favorite b-movies, take my equipment outside and watch some movies under the stars with my favorite beer. Sounds like a waste of time but it still gave me that feeling of being there. Anyway, I asked some people in the ages of 50-65 what their favorite horror films were at the drive-ins. NOTLD always came up, and everyone and their mother have reviewed it already. But I have found some good ones and some not so good ones that still have a place in my heart.

So with that, here are some of the films that were mentioned to me that I will re-watch and review.

THE GIANT CLAW
TARANTULA
THE DEADLY MANTIS
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (in 3-D)
THE GIANT BEHEMOTH
GODZILLA

And possibly some others. As always a special thanks goes out to Corey for allowing me to do this. See you at the driveiins!!

misfitboy

But I really had no idea what I would be subjecting myself to. This movie was so bad that I couldn't finish it, despite the fact that we get 2 kills in the first 5 minutes. I'll give this a very generous 1/10.

Thank you to @thedarkhours on Twitter, who reportedly scored this article from @MikeCadaverLab.

To summarize, Dangerous Jamie wrote an open letter to Gorezone Magazine, respectfully criticizing their lack of proofreading and their continuous exploitation of women. Since then, Gorezone has threatened the author with legal action (calling the article "slander") and has sent scores of its "faithful" readers to comment. The comments attack Dangerous Jamie personally, and are threatening. Gorezone readers have promised to spam the site until it crashes. The editor himself has commented (various spelling/grammar errors blemish his post), and he behaves just as ridiculously.

He posted his email address, so if you feel like you want to respond to Gorezone's unacceptable actions, feel free to email him (I have): b.hammond@gorezone.co.uk

I'm not surprised. This has been my experience with so much of the "horror community" since I've become more and more involved in it in the past three years or so. "Horror fans" (many of whom often consider themselves to be the be-all-end-all of horror) who write, publish, blog, podcast, or whatever, tend to be hyper sensitive when it comes to criticisms about their own product, taking anything other than "Great job!" as a personal attack. And "horror fans" who religiously cling to some figure in horror -- whether it's an actor, director, magazine, podcast, blog, or whatever -- also take criticism toward their beloved figure as a direct, personal attack (under the guise of being "loyal" or "faithful"). These people are no different than the terrorists who carry out actions because of their loyalty to Al Qaeda. That's right.

I hold some pretty unpopular opinions. There have been times when I've expressed them -- respectfully, thoughtfully, and without namecalling/attacking/etc. -- and I am mobbed by angry Internet people who hold a different opinion, and don't think that I am entitled to mine. It's happened time and time again -- I've experienced it directly.

It's sad. Diversity of opinions is a wonderful, healthy thing to have. Yes, some people are right and some are wrong, but when respectful debate rots away to attacks, namecalling and threats, it's out of hand.

The "horror community" already has enough negative stigma attached to it -- everyone knows that. And things like this do nothing to clean up that image.

And while you're there, check out all the other great stuff Melzer has to offer. It's well worth your time.

http://jamesmelzer.net/2010/02/unleashed-ep-12-peter-clines/

A LONG, LONG, TIME AGO… IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY . . . George A. Romero and George Lucas intertwined like a bastardized Siamese twin. (Well, not really but if they did) the result would be STAR WARS - DEATH TROOPERS.

First off, I am a fan of the original Star Wars films but I have to admit, I was not a big enough fan to read all the books that followed the first 3 films. I first heard about this book on the Midnight Podcast and to be honest it didn’t really peak my interest much (big mistake on my part.) I read some reviews and a lot of people were saying “Oh, it's not Star Wars, it's too violent and gory for this type of book. Now that peaked my interest. So I was fortunate to stumble across the audio book. I was NOT disappointed! Zombies and Star Wars? I’m on board!

No Luke Skywalker or jedis in this book -- as a matter of fact the only original characters in this book are Han Solo and his faithful sidekick Chewbacca. There are references to Darth Vader from time to time but that’s about it. My thoughts on that: “Who cares?” This book is a classic horror novel that peaks your interest around chapter 8, grips your ears and does not let go until the end! Anyway, the story.

2 teenage brothers, a female doctor, 2 smugglers and a sadistic imperial guard are on board the “Purge,” a prison vessel carrying the scum of the galaxy. It has thruster problems and is in need of desperate repairs. Out in space not far away is an abandoned star destroyer. A group is formed to board the vessel for much-needed parts for immediate repairs. There is no sign of life on board. While searching the vessel one soldier sees something on board but never gets the chance to tell anyone about it. Eventually on their return to the Purge it becomes clear that there was something on board, a deadly virus that the empire had been working on for some time that wiped out the entire crew of the destroyer. On their return to the purge, some of the men start coughing and become ill. Within hours the virus spreads throughout the ship infecting all species on board. Now, there is a slow build of characters at the beginning but that’s to be expected. Only a few are immune to the virus, and soon guards and prisoners start dying off quickly. The 2 teenage brothers are in a cell and are released by a guard who feels sorry for them due to their age. He dies shortly after. Dead bodies litter the ship, and it's described in gruesome fashion at times. Eventually the bodies disappear. But not for long. The brothers make it to solitary confinement where they meet Han and Chewie. At this point death is just the beginning. The dead soldiers and prisoners come back to life hungry for flesh. And the battle for survival begins.

Now I don’t want to give too much away and ruin such a well-written story. But I will say the zombies in the book are like the ones in Land of the Dead. Eventually they start to learn, as in using weapons, climbing, etc. Don’t let this turn you off in any way! It really works for the book. Now my only problem with it is the end is a little weak, but when the dead eat people, it is described if full gory detail.

I really enjoyed this book. If you can find the audio book, it's packed with great sound effects, ships soaring through space, blasters, etc. I would recommend the audio book with high ratings. It helps to picture a film inside your head and almost makes you feel like you're on board with the survivors! So if I were to rate this from 1 to 10 I would have to give it a high 8. Thanks to Corey goes out (as always) for letting me ramble about one more little gem I came across. This is misfit boy and I’m out!

The film follows a "common" Japanese man. A film crew is conducting a series of interviews as he goes about his normal daily activities. He's struggling to make rent, separated from his wife, and only gets to see his daughter once a month. He's somber and contemplative.

Oh yeah -- he also tends to grow into a 50-foot mutated version of himself to fight off enormous invading monsters, protecting his fellow citizens from the monster threat.

The film catches the "King of Pain," as he is nicknamed, on a sort of downward spiral. He comes from a long line of this kind of fighters -- his father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc., were all giant monster fighters. In the past decades, they were highly respected, achieving fame and fortune as protectors. However, he has come to be shunned by the Japanese, and can't seem to do anything right. It's obvious that he's depressed, and the desire to continue fighting is lost by the end, in which he slips into a weird delirium fueled by alcohol and disillusionment.

This movie is mostly done in the style of a reality/documentary film, but the fighting scenes are all cinematic. Apparently, his fights are televised, and the sponsors are paying the Big Man's salary. Of course, all the monsters (including the giant King of Pain himself) are all done using CG -- not with rubber suits, like I expected. Well, until the end, anyhow.

The CG worked for me. This may be surprising to you, being that I'm generally turned off by CG. The reason is that it wasn't trying to pass computer-generated animation as real. The filmmakers didn't attempt to combine live shots with CG. It gave a real fantasy quality to the fighting scenes.

Even more importantly is that this is a spoof. It's making fun of traditional giant monster movies, exploring the element of the common man dealing with giant monsters. It's yet another reason why the CG works -- it's not serious at all, despite the fact that there are some serious moments in the film (depression, divorce, etc.).

The monsters are highly original. The screeching, elastic monster with a combover. The monster whose single giant eye is attached via a very long umbilical cord. The passive monster who does nothing except block traffic and emit strange smells. I loved them all!

Some short-attention-span viewers of Big Man Japan will be driven crazy by the pacing. It's slow and thoughtful, characteristic of a lot of Asian films. Moments are drawn out in a poetic way, leaving the viewer to dwell on the implications of the scene. The viewer is encouraged to drawn his/her own conclusions -- it's not all spelled out for you. The story of the Big Man is pieced together throughout the entire film, which is another point that may frustrate some. Things that seem confusing or unclear are often resolved later in the film. The key word here is patience, and a lot of people may not have it.

It's rated PG-13, which is pretty stiff. I would let extremely young children watch this, as there is no foul language, nudity, or violence. Maybe a couple small trickles of blood, and a good bit of fighting. I guess the only problem that very young children would have in viewing this is that it's subtitled.

I really liked Big Man Japan. What a great film. I've never seen anything like it, and it goes deeper than a lot of other movies. It's saying something about modern societies that love nothing more than to praise and lift up heroes and celebrities, only to delight in dragging them back down to the depths of loathing and scandal.

If you get the chance, pick this one up. I give it an 8/10.

It's about junior high school-age youth whose parents have moved them into a planned community (subdivision) in the middle of nowhere. With nothing to do, and with their parents obsessed with their careers and attracting buyers to the community, the kids are left with nothing to do. Their only entertainment is a private recreation center. When the bored kids drink, take drugs, and engage in crime, the parents and police neglectfully point their fingers at the youth. They're just a bunch of bad kids, right?

That kid on the left is Matt Dillon. Seriously.

In their quest for making money in their new planned community, the parents and law enforcement are leaving nothing for the youth to become involved in. Naturally, they're going to do destructive things if they're bored and neglected. And the kids revolt, locking their parents and police in the school during a what-are-we-going-to-do-about-these-bad-kids meeting. Destruction ensues.

If you get a chance, watch this movie. Brilliance.

The Heap

Tommy hoisted up the hood of the old blue Chevy pickup truck with a grunt. The stench of burning oil wafted into his face, almost masking the smell of decay fermenting around him. As he propped the hood open, he spotted the red boomerang lying in his yard – again.

He slammed his palm down on the truck and marched over to the toy. Snatching it up, he tried to break it over his knee. It didn't snap.

“I told them to keep their shit out of my yard,” he growled, flinging the boomerang toward the neighbors' house. It wobbled awkwardly, smacking off the worn rock in their front lawn engraved with “The Jamison's.”

Tommy caught a flash of a boy's face in the second story window just before the curtains flew over it.

He scowled and turned back to the truck. “White trash brats,” he grumbled as his boots squished through the muddy grass.

Pulling an oily rag out of his back pocket, Tommy leaned under the hood again. The truck was on its last legs, over twenty years old and rusted to the point of falling apart. The engine was a mishmash of parts doctored in with chicken wire and duct tape. The piston rings were in dire need of replacement – the truck's power was going to pot and the engine burned up another quart of oil every couple weeks. The damned thing threatened to overheat if he drove it for more than a half hour at a time.

The economy prevented him from repairing the truck correctly. Child support payments were due every month to the bitch two states away, his credit cards were maxed and his once steady gig as an electrician had slowed to a trickle.

Rottenness filled the air, emanating from the gigantic heap of roadkill in his side yard. The county of Walker awarded a contract every year to the party who agreed to clean up all the roadkill littering the county-maintained roads during the fall and winter. Predominantly unfortunate deer, the carcasses were also those of opossum, raccoons, skunks, squirrels, chipmunks, geese, groundhogs, rabbits, and the occasional household pet.

Tommy secured that contract this year, thanks to a little help from his friend who happened to be a newly-elected commissioner.

His ailing Chevy made it possible. A powered winch was mounted to the front of the bed, wound with wire rope. At the end of the rope was an adjustable leather strap stained with blood, perfectly sized to fit around a bloated deer torso. If Tommy could make the truck last through the final months of roadkill season, he'd get enough money from the county to buy a new truck.

Collecting anywhere from fifty to a hundred deer corpses every day, the demand was too much for his truck to handle – it was all he could do to keep the roads clear. That didn't leave much time to head to the county landfill, especially since its hours of operation had been cut back for Thanksgiving.

Yanking the dipstick out of the engine, Tommy frowned when he saw the brown smudge barely topping the LOW reading. He ran it through the rag in his hand and thrust it back in the engine, pulling it out again. He groaned.

A car pulled in the driveway behind him – a mud-spattered Slate Township police cruiser.

“Shit,” Tommy breathed, shoving the dipstick back into the engine and throwing down the oily rag.

Two officers stepped out of the car, and Tommy flashed his best half-smile as he wiped his hands on his faded Steelers sweatshirt.

He extended a hand to the first officer. “Hey Carl, how's your dad?”

Officer Swain reluctantly shook his hand. “He's fine, Tom.”

The second, smaller policeman stepped around the back of the cruiser and into the yard, abruptly stopping twenty feet from the mountain of deer. He swung his head in disgust.

Swain eyed the scores of deer, then looked at Tommy. “We got some more calls about this, Tom. What are we gonna do about it?”

Tommy's face flushed red. “It was them again, wasn't it?” He threw a thumb over his shoulder towards the neighbors' house. “They have it out for me, you know.”

Swain's expression remained tough. “It's been weeks, Tom. People are smelling this from a mile away. I'm getting sick just standing here.”

The other officer, whose nameplate read J. GARY, joined Officer Swain at the car and nodded in agreement.

Tommy shook his head. “I'm sorry about this, but like I said before, my truck is having problems and the holiday is screwing up the schedule at the landfill. After Thanksgiving, it'll all be back to normal.”

Swain sighed and looked at Officer Gary, who shrugged. A dog started barking next door, and they watched a chocolate Labrador leap out of the neighbors' back door. Denny, head of the Jamison household, barely restrained it with a short leash. He caught a glimpse of the police cruiser and looked away quickly, shaking his head and tying the leash to the crooked clothesline post. The dog continued to bark even after Denny returned inside, setting its sights on the carcasses in Tommy's yard.

“He put that dog out there on purpose,” Tommy accused. “He knows that thing barks like hell. Asshole needs to get a job, he's got too much time on his hands.”

Officer Gary straightened his posture and spoke for the first time during the visit. “The dog's barking because of your deer, Mr. Pratt.”

“Look,” Swain said, detecting Tommy's shortening patience. “Get these things out of here, or we can cite you for this. And the county can revoke your contract, so I suggest you figure something out.”

Tommy sagged, rubbing his forehead and scratching the light stubble on his cheek. He leaned back on the truck and crossed his arms. “Yes sir. Just a few more days, I'll have it cleaned up.”

The officers glared at him.

“That's what I heard last time,” Swain remarked, taking another long look at the pile of rotten bodies. “Don't make us come back out here.”

Tommy nodded without making eye contact. The officers returned to the cruiser, lingering in the driveway for another minute before departing.

He watched the car creep down the road, but movement out of the corner of his eye drew his attention to the animal pile. Something moved – he would have sworn to it. But as Tommy approached the rotten heap and scanned it, nothing moved. Figuring that other animals were wandering out of the woods for an easy snack, he brushed it off – he was distracted by the damned dog next door that wouldn't shut up.

Tommy barely suppressed the urge to scream at the animal, or to just march over to the neighbors' yard and kick the beast. As he stared the dog down, he detected movement again. This time, it was the neighbor kids in their window.

They didn't dart out of sight when he faced them. Their wide eyes were fixed on him, and Tommy returned their stare with a sneer. They looked like miniature versions of their parents – the round-faced blond girl and the freckled, orange-haired boy.

Tommy held his frown, but the kids did something that took him by surprise: they smiled. Both of them at the same time. Then they whisked the curtains over the window and were gone again.

He was frozen with his boots planted in the damp, shaggy grass, shaking his head. He turned to the barking dog, flipped it off, and went back to his truck breathing loudly.

He leaned under the hood again, checking the dipstick one more time with shaking hands to confirm the engine's desperate need for oil. He removed the oil cap and trudged to the garage. Originally designed to house two cars, the attached garage instead functioned as Tommy's miscellaneous storage room. He took two big steps over some loose lumber and grabbed the last case of Pennzoil on the rusty shelf.

He dropped the box on the dusty garage floor when he heard the phone ring inside the house. Kicking off his muddy boots, he went inside.

The interior of his house was a portrait of single-male living. A knee-high stack of newspapers toppled over as Tommy came through the archway into the mess of a kitchen. The cordless phone was missing from its base on the counter. Tommy froze, held his breath, and listened. Over the muffled barks of the neighbors' dog, he followed the ring into the living room. The phone was wedged between the cushions of the ragged couch.

He pulled it out and was about to press the TALK button when the dog outside stopped barking – it began to yelp and whine. Tommy grinned, forgetting the phone and going back to the door.

In the garage, he stepped back into his boots and walked out to the driveway. The dog's squeals of pain intensified, and when Tommy saw why, he gasped so hard that he began coughing violently.

Deer were attacking the dog. Three bloated, blood-streaked deer – two doe and a buck with half its rack splintered off – tore chunks of flesh from the dog as it thrashed on its leash. It fought back, removing large chunks of rotten meat from its attackers. The deer didn't react to the dog's retaliation, letting themselves to be shredded.

More deer, awkward and hobbling, joined them, completely surrounding the dog. A scattered line of deer, intermingled with a few smaller rodents, marched out of Tommy's yard. His eyes followed the line back to the pile.

The heap of bodies was a writhing mass, expanding throughout the yard as the once-dead animals dragged themselves through the wet grass. The long legs of the twitching deer cracked as muscles and tendons moved again. Many of the deer's legs were broken, but that didn't seem to matter. They pushed themselves along with their working legs, dragging the broken limbs underneath them.

Other smaller roadkill, vastly outnumbered by the deer, also jerked back to life and lumbered toward the suffering dog. A half-raccoon raked through the grass with its front paws, its jaw spasming up and down. A flattened squirrel flipped its blood-caked tail back and forth as it tried to gain mobility.

Denny burst through the back door of his house gripping a baseball bat. The dog howled one last time before going silent, enveloped by the risen deer. The kids stood just inside the door, not daring to step outside as they watched their father sink the aluminum bat into the skull of the first deer he came to. Its right ear was missing, and a long strip of fur flapped down its neck. As its head caved in, the deer's jaw fell slack and its body slumped to the ground.

Other deer who weren't feasting on the bleeding dog took notice of Denny and went after him. Many of them had trouble keeping their balance, as their long, stiff legs weren't working as well as they once had. The ones that kept their footing advanced toward Denny as he raised the bat again, his chest heaving and his heart pounding in his ears.

Tommy heard a crunch behind him. He looked over his shoulder and screamed – two bucks with broken antlers lurched within a few feet of him. The nearest deer's belly had split open when it was killed on the road; its bulging black stomach and entrails had partially hardened during the stay in Tommy's yard. The dried organs dragged through the grass underneath the deer as it hobbled, pieces pulling off in its wake.

Trembling, Tommy skittered away from the dead deer. He collided with his truck, knocking the air out of his lungs, hearing a female scream from inside the neighbors' house – Denny's wife Mindy.

Tommy pulled himself along the side of the truck and watched Denny club the growing crowd of rotten deer. Mindy, a very tall, full woman, barged out of the house, shotgun in hand.

“Denny!” she shrieked.

The kids crept out behind her, stopping on the top step. The girl began sobbing, and the skinny boy clung to her arm.

The animals engulfed Denny, even though the bat kept swinging. Tommy looked back to his own yard, seeing that the pile of dead animals had all but dissolved – only badly mangled bodies and body parts remained still.

The animals were everywhere. The majority had gathered around Denny, but many more wandered off in other directions, shambling into the woods behind the house or onto the road.

Now a group pursued Tommy, who still clung to the bed of the truck. He pushed off toward the house, but sharp pain exploded in his calf. He fell to his knees in the stony driveway and looked back to see a tailless opossum sinking is needle-sharp teeth into the meaty flesh below his knee. Tommy cried out, slamming his fist down onto the back of the coarse gray animal. It released its bite and he flung the creature away.

Then Denny screamed. The shotgun fired. The children screamed. Tommy pulled himself up with the truck's bumper, wincing at his throbbing calf. Another gun blast rang out, and Tommy saw Mindy drop the shotgun and fall to her knees. Denny was nowhere to be seen, covered in a sea of feasting deer. Smaller creatures scurried around their legs to get a taste of the warm flesh.

The animals began to limp toward Mindy. In tears, she swayed on the moist grass.

“Mommy! Mommy!” the children pleaded, reaching their arms out from the doorstep. The cries had no affect on her.

Something nudged Tommy from behind. He jumped as if he had been shocked, spinning to see disfigured deer snapping at him. He kicked away an attacking raccoon and staggered to the garage. He fixed his eyes on the rusty machete hanging on the wall above a dingy set of cabinets.

Knocking over a stack of milk crates, he reached up and snatched the cobweb-covered blade from the wall and limped back outside. Confronted by a pack of stumbling, spasming deer, he drew the machete over his head. The brown blade came down between the clouded black eyes of the nearest one, a mid-sized doe whose ribs jutted from its crimson-coated fur. Its skull split open; it collapsed and stopped moving.

Tommy chopped the snout off the next one, leaving a black oozing hole in the center of its face. He pushed another ragged deer out of the way and thrust the machete ahead.

The kids sobbed on the top step as the horde of living dead animals came within feet of the their hysterical mother. Tommy gritted his teeth and dashed over to their yard.

A squirrel caked with dried blood made it to Mindy first, but Tommy stepped in and skewered the animal with the blade before it could bite her. He lifted it up to his eye level, then shook the re-killed squirrel off.

He grabbed Mindy's elbow. “Get in the house!”

“Get your hands off me!” she spat. Throwing his hand off, she fell over backwards.

Tommy spotted the shotgun on the ground, and traded his machete for it. Cocking it, he fired into the advancing crowd of deer. One's head exploded, coating the surrounding animals with blackened gore. He fired again, crippling a pair of others and buying them a few more seconds.

He dropped the gun and took two handfuls of Mindy's shirt, straining to pull her upright. “Go! Now! Your kids need you!”

The boy and girl had already retreated into the house, and left the door open. Tommy stuck out both arms and shoved Mindy toward the door. Her head snapped back and her arms flew out in surprise, but she regained her balance as she floundered to the steps. Tommy turned back for the weapons, but they were already lost in the group of animals. He cursed and followed Mindy into the house, slamming the door behind him.

The kids ran toward the kitchen. Mindy turned around in the dim foyer and brought her face within inches of Tommy's.

“It's your fault!” she screamed, anger twisting her flushed face.

He held up his hands and stepped back against the door. “Hey, I just saved your ass–”

A loud crash on the other side of the door jostled him. Tommy went to the nearest window, parted the curtains, and peered out. He jerked away from it. “We gotta get out of here.”

Mindy shoved him aside and looked for herself. A crooked deer head smacked into the glass, and she flinched with a scream. The deer's mouth fell open and its black tongue rolled out, but was pushed to the side by more deer, smearing blood across the glass. They butted the window with their heads.

Mindy spun and grabbed Tommy's arm. “Get the hell out of my house!” she sobbed. “If you wouldn't have kept those rotten deer next door, this wouldn't have happened! And my Denny wouldn't be dead!”

Tommy met the raging woman's glare. “Listen, I'm sorry about Denny. But this isn't my fault.”

“Like hell!” she shouted, raising a fist. “We had to put up with your shit for weeks before anyone did anything about it. And now . . . now . . .”

Her fist dropped to her side and she wilted. “Oh, Denny.”

A lump formed in Tommy's throat as the children sadly emerged and embraced their mother. Tommy rubbed his eyes, brushed back his hair and breathed slowly, trying to calm his racing heartbeat and racing thoughts.

Glass shattered in the kitchen. Tommy darted through the archway and found a bloody deer head protruding through the bay window on the far wall. It thrashed around, shredding itself on the jagged glass surrounding its neck. On either side of it, more deer butted the large pane, busting out more glass. They thrust their mutilated heads through, fixing their lifeless eyes on him.

The wind was knocked out of his lungs as he was grabbed from behind in a bear hug.

“Get the hell out!” Mindy screamed in his ear, dragging him out to the foyer.

Tommy thrust his arms out, breaking her hold. He slipped and collapsed to the floor, but Mindy stayed on her feet. She scrambled to the front door, flipped the lock and grabbed the knob.

“Out of my damned house!” she yelled, emphasizing the last word by whipping the door open.

A gruesome buck, missing an eye and covered in oozing lacerations, appeared in the doorway and bit off her nose. Blood spurted onto the white door and the slate tile at her feet. Mindy's hands flew to her face, and she let out a gurgling scream.

The children panicked, watching another deer charge in and bite her arm, taking out a small chunk just above the elbow.

Tommy turned to the terrified kids and pointed to the stairs across the room. “Go upstairs! Now!”

They froze, trembling as their mother bled. She flailed and howled as the deer pecked her apart. Her large frame blocked the doorway, and the animals feasted as she coughed and twitched.

“Go!” Tommy angrily ordered, hurrying them across the room.

They kept their puffy eyes glued to their suffering mother as they took to the staircase arm-in-arm. Tommy stood at the bottom, shooting his eyes back and forth between the children and Mindy. Her arms fell limp and her wails subsided The deer pushed her body into the foyer as they nuzzled into her abdomen. Their yellow teeth broke through skin and muscle, clamping onto strands of intestine and slippery organs, dragging them out onto the floor tile.

A house-shaking crash rang out from the kitchen as a deer slipped in through the window and crushed a chair. A bloody mess, it jerked in circles on its side as it slid on the linoleum.

Tommy broke from the stairs, his wounded leg in white hot pain, and lowered his shoulder. He collided with the nearest deer. The animal released the strip of muscle between its teeth and fell back out through the door, knocking over three more. Tommy regained his balance, raised a foot, and booted the other deer out, its neck cracking on impact.

Mindy lie in a twisted, grisly heap. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, and her mouth hung open in a scream that had never finished. Blood spotted her pale face.

A raccoon clumsily scurried inside, and Tommy brought his heel down on its skull, stopping it immediately and squirting sludgy guts out its mouth. Seeing the deer threatening to come back inside, Tommy reached down, took hold of Mindy's shoulders, and pushed with all the strength he had left. Her corpse rolled forward, out the door, and down the steps. The animals tore into the body again before it hit the ground.

Tommy slammed the door, locked it, and checked the kitchen. The deer still thrashed around the floor, unable to get itself upright. He scanned the place for some kind of weapon, but saw nothing – not even any knives on the counter. He headed for the stairs.

The kids huddled on the top step. Tommy made the climb with the help of the railing, grunting as he made a bloody boot print on every other step. He sat on the top step at the children's feet, catching his breath, eying his bleeding leg.

Leaning back, he ran his hands over his face and listened to the animals start to pound at the door again. The dead animals knew they were inside the house, and it was only a matter of time before they got in. Tommy opened his eyes, looked upward, and felt a glimmer of hope when he spotted the trapdoor to the attic.

“Hey,” he said to the kids. “Can we get up there?”

The girl rubbed her eyes and sullenly looked up at the ceiling; the boy merely nodded. Tommy sprang up, shoved past them, and reached for the tarnished handle. He pulled, but the door wouldn't budge. On his second effort, the door sprang open with a crack, raining dust and cobwebs. Tommy brushed the dirt out of his face, extending the folding stairs. Musty, humid air hit his face. The contraption creaked as he helped the girl start the climb up into the darkness.

Shattering glass downstairs made the girl flinch. Another crash sounded. Tommy hurried her up, trying to remain as calm as possible. He lifted the scrawny boy onto the thin steps and took one more look downstairs. There were a series of thuds, then the head of a misshapen doe came into view at the foot of the staircase.

Tommy gasped and looked to the attic. The girl made it to the top of the steps and crawled away from the trap door; the boy did the same with shaking legs. Tommy was right behind them, scaling the steps to the attic as the first of the deer lumbered to the top of the stairs below them.

Reaching the attic, Tommy bent down to pull the trap door up. He started to lose his balance, reeling in place for a few seconds and hovering over the hole. Throwing out his arms, he steadied himself on the edges of the opening, staring straight down to the landing below. Hooves appeared, followed by the rest of the mutilated deer. The twitching animal stumbled and ran into the attic stairs.

Tommy let out a shriek, pulling his hand away. The boards creaked, and he reached down again to grab the trap door as the deer smeared half-congealed blood on the bottom steps. He finally caught hold, pulling the trap door up with a loud groan. It latched into place. Tommy let out a lungful of air and sat straight down, exhausted.

He dragged his sleeve across his face and turned to the kids. They were silhouetted by the foggy window on the far wall.

“Is there a light up here?” Tommy breathed, squinting through the darkness, trying to locate a switch on the wall or a bulb dangling from the rafters.

Finding nothing right away, he lifted himself off the floor, moaning as the pain screamed from his calf. The children sniffled, silent in the murky darkness as Tommy carefully stepped around unidentifiable objects on his way to the window. Shrouded by layers of cobwebs, the window likely hadn't been cleaned in ages, but was still somewhat translucent. He brushed away the sticky webbing and leaned close to the dingy glass.

The army of shambling deer and scattered rodents surrounded the house, beating against the sides. Tommy and the kids felt the house vibrating as the animals assaulted it, relentless in their pursuit of the meat inside.

“Well, we're safe for now,” he said to the kids. “They can't get up here.”

Turning to them, he abruptly stopped and dropped his jaw. The black point of a fireplace poker hovered inches from his eye. The redheaded boy held it out, vengeance contorting his preadolescent face.

“You killed my mom and dad!” he screeched, extending his arm to thrust the poker into Tommy's eye as far as it would go.

Tommy bellowed in agony as the boy pulled the poker out and stabbed Tommy's other eye, inserting the poker even farther into his head than the first time. Blindly reaching up and grabbing the thin metal shaft, Tommy freed it from the boy's hands. Stiffening, Tommy crashed to the floor. The poker remained lodged in his brain as his body went limp. Blood poured from his eye sockets, pooling on the splintered floorboards.

The children looked at each other. Holding hands, they stepped over Tommy's corpse and peered out the window.

“How do we make this stop?” the girl whispered, watching the countless damaged deer hobble around the house.

The boy huffed. “I don't know,” he said. “I don't remember what the book said.”

“And it's still downstairs.”

They stood, staring through the clouded glass at the mess they had started, listening to the fervent pummeling below.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)
I probably wouldn't have given this one a chance if it weren't for the bubbly exciting review given by my friends on the Horror Etc. podcast.

White Zombie (1932)
I've seen this one many times. It's the only zombie movie I've watched lately, and it's one of the best.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
Well, I watched most of this. However, the antics of confused, irate podcasters interrupted my viewing of this fine film. But I'm pretty sure I got the gist of what this one has to offer. To be fair, I'll probably give it another shot.

Phantasm (1979)
Love this movie. Quite possibly the best plot ever. People call this a zombie movie, but I disagree -- despite the fact that zombies are in it. Just because zombies appear in the movie, it doesn't mean that it's a zombie movie.

Drag Me To Hell (2009)
I finally saw this one. To be honest, I saw the TV trailers before it came out, and although I was excited that it was Sam Raimi, I wasn't excited about what I saw. To me, it was just a lot of CG. However, I followed the rave reviews I've heard about it, and just bought the DVD. I'm glad I did.

Let the Right One In (2008)
One of my favorite vampire movies ever. I bought this DVD at the same time I bought Drag Me To Hell, at the recommendation of KruegerDude.

Them! (1954)
It was on Netflix Instant Watch, so I watched it. I love movies about giant creatures from this era, and these giant ants are classic.

Just to clarify, Library of the Living Dead is now the longest-running zombie podcast in existence, mainly focusing on the reading of zombie fiction and Dr. Pus' own brand of songwriting. There are also a variety of other things that pop up on the podcast from time to time, such as reviews, rants, music, you name it. It's over 100 episodes strong as of this writing.

Library of Horror follows the same format, but is not limited to just zombies. Actually, it's anything horror except zombies. It just got started, and just released its 2nd episode this past week.

The support I keep getting from podcasters (and listeners) has been astounding. Of course, there are those out there who are bitter and will kick me when I'm down, but that's to be expected in this cutthroat world of multi-million-dollar podcasting.

And you know I just can't stay away from podcasting. I've made so many friends over the years, and so many other podcasts have stepped forward and opened their shows to me. As you know, I'll regularly appear on Dr. Pus' Library of Horror and Library of the Living Dead podcasts.

I just confirmed that I'll also be doing a review segment for my friend James Melzer (and see below -- we're also working on a book together) on his monthly podcast UNLEASHED. Check out all of Melzer's wonderful work here.

This is an incredible honor.

http://libraryofhorror.podomatic.com/

Thanks to Dr. Pus and the Library community for welcoming me in!

Right now, I'm watching the 1968 classic Spider Baby -- one of my favorites. It's remarkable how different this is from Night of the Living Dead, which was released the same year. Spider Baby is twisted and somewhat comedic, with a hint of camp. Night, on the other hand, is stark and nihilistic.

This weekend I watched Basket Case (1982) and Nosferatu (1922). And there's a whole stack sitting here, just waiting for me to watch them again. They're nothing new; I've seen most of them a million times. But they're the greatest horror films ever made, and every time I watch them, I experience the same magic that I did the first time I saw them.

Expect our own thoughts about these movies, plus interviews with cast and crew involved in these films.

You know I'm a big fan of the horror genre -- I have been my whole life. James is highly knowledgeable in the realm of film, especially horror, and it's an honor for me to be working with such a talented guy.

Expect updates as the project moves forward!

I'll keep you posted on how things are going, and if there's any possibility of seeing this in print. If you do, it will be much smoother, with more added -- that's for sure.

Meanwhile, I'm also working on some short stories. In fact, one has already been accepted for the upcoming Dark: A Horror Anthology. There are others I'm working on, and I'll hopefully be posting more as I get the time to write more.

Thanks again!

Thanks to everyone who read it over at MidnightCorey.com. I've begun revising, and have some additions/rewriting in mind. Some people have suggested trying to get it published, and I very well may try. But before I do that, I'm going to make some major revisions.

http://midnightcorey.com

So, I'm putting the official word count updater in the sidebar of this blog. Also, if you're participating in NaNoWriMo, here's the link to my profile you you can friend me.

I spent the entire day yesterday at Horror Realm in Pittsburgh. Ideally, I would have spent the whole weekend there, but alas, the demands of everyday life limited my stay to Saturday.

I was there nearly 12 hours, and still didn't do everything and talk to everybody that I wanted to. At least I did a lot better than I did at Zombie Fest last year -- I only had a couple hours to spend there, and only talked to a handful of people.

The high point of the day for me was the panel with Ken Foree. That man can talk! And it was fantastic. The hour had flown by, and Ken was only warming up. As we were all sitting around bullshitting later that night, we all agreed that Ken Foree is PIMP. I'll be replaying his highly entertaining panel on the Midnight Podcast soon.

Ken Foree is PIMP

Other big names in the horror industry that I got to talk to were Tony Todd, Bill Moseley, and Leslie Easterbrook, who all were kind enough to talk for the Midnight Podcast. Ken Foree was incredibly interesting and creative as usual; Tony Todd was thrilled to hear I'm from Erie (he has lots of ties there); Bill Moseley revealed to me that he's done several CD's with Buckethead; and Leslie Easterbrook was sweet and beautiful.

Bill Moseley

It was great to meet a lot of the people that I've come to know in the horror community online. This includes the legendary Dr. Pus, who held the absolute coolest podcasting session ever. He recorded a spontaneous segment for Library of the Living Dead, harrassing various guests such as David Dunwoody, Rob Fox and yours truly. The whole corner was going nuts!

Dr. Pus and The Dunwoody

Podcasting with Dr. Pus

Everybody was extremely cool. I hung around most with author Eric S. Brown, who is just as cool in person as he is over the phone. I also hung with author/podcaster James Melzer, who treated me to a satisfying Canadian beer. Stephen A. North is a teddy bear, and a true gentleman. Rhiannon Frater, Rob Fox, Scott Johnson, ZA Recht, JL Bourne, SG Browne, Robert R. Best (along with his wonderful wife Laura), and David Dunwoody were other fantastic people I got to meet and talk to.

Stephen A. North and David Dunwoody

Of course, a lot of zombies and characters from Dawn of the Dead (1978) were around, and they were buckets of fun to talk to. The most common thing that I heard from them is how much they're amazed that after over 30 years, they are still known for Dawn, and have incredible fans. Frank Serrao (gray suit zombie), Nick Tallo (biker raider), Joe Shelby (biker raider/Martinez), Shanon Ceccatti (nurse zombie), Leonard Lies (machete zombie), Jim Krut (helicopter zombie), and, of course, Ken Foree.

Sharon Ceccatti (nurse zombie)

Frank Serrao (gray suit zombie)

Nick Tallo

And then there were us podcasters. Along with Library of the Living Dead and James Melzer's Unleashed, I met up with members of Don't Look in the Podcast, the Funky Werepig and Gutmunchers. All wonderful!

And I was just as happy to see Midnight Podcast listeners Florida Possum and Zombie Farmer! They made an obscenely long journey to the Zombie Capital of the World. Florida Possum was every bit as awesome as I thought, and Zombie Farmer was sweet and entertaining (to say the least). She certainly entertained Ken Foree during his panel discussion as she developed a case of loud hiccups. Ken totally called her out on it.

The whole thing was fantastic. My only regrets: 1) not being able to be there for Friday or Sunday (reliable sources tell me Tom Savini showed up Friday night, talking to fans and browsing the laserdiscs), and 2) having not talked to the likes of Jonathan Maberry, Travis Adkins, Kim Paffenroth, and Tiffany Shepis (although she was certainly noticed).

Funny story about Ms. Shepis: a whole group of us were outside talking and drinking beers, and Tiffany strolls up to us. "You look like a big group of alcoholics," she said. "Where is the stairway to the liquor store?" She was under the impression that the hotel had some kind of hidden stairway to the liquor store. WTF?

UPDATE: Nick Tallo sent me a VERY angry comment on this blog, calling me names like "idiot" and "dickhead" because I got his name mixed up with Joe Shelby. I apologized for this, but I no longer am a fan of Mr. Tallo because of his outburst toward me. A simple, "Hey, you got your names mixed up . . ." and an explanation would have been wonderful, but he resorted to name-calling and generally making himself look like a fool. Do not support Nick Tallo -- I just lost all respect for this man.

Last night I had quite an impressive fire going.

I've even stopped using Twitter as much . . . it's all a bunch of trendy garbage. People who are not inherently cool now believe that they are cool.

There I go again.

I'll start off by cluing you into the fact that none of these people are real judges. They are arbiters. The parties involved in each case sign a contract before they go on, stating that they allow the "judge" to provide binding arbitration and that they will abide by the ruling.

And don't be fooled by whom you may consider to be the "bailiffs" on these shows -- they're nothing more than hired goons. Security guys who are in no way certified by any court and only there to look tough. Unless you're that one from Judge Mathis' show, who is far from intimidating and looks as though he should be in his mom's basement talking about Star Trek. More on that below.

Over the past several years, I've been able to get a pretty good read on these judges. My conclusion is that there's only one worth watching -- Judge Judy. I will halt all work I'm doing at 4:00 to watch her rip through anyone who steps foot in her "court" (TV studio).

So let me talk a little more about the four TV judges I've become familiar with.

1. Judge Judy

Like I said -- the only one worth watching. She's all business and no nonsense. She can spot a liar a mile away, and is the queen of stinging one-liners.

Judge Judy is a brilliant woman, knowing all the right questions to ask to get to the bottom of things. Demanding respect, she takes total control of the "court room" and is not intimidated by anyone. She doesn't let anyone try to flatter her to sweet-talk her into getting her sympathy.

She deserves every penny she earns on the show. All other TV judges  pale in comparison.

Her security guy is great. He shows little emotion and only gets involved when prompted by Judy. And he has a great presence, guaranteeing that Judy is safe from those angered parties who get their little feelings hurt.

2. Judge Karen

While I'm not particularly impressed by any other TV judge after Judge Judy, Judge Karen is the most bearable of the rest of the pack. She's interesting and has personality -- making for great TV -- and seems to have a good time doing what she's doing. Most of the time she's fair and shows compassion.

For a judge, though, she's not as no-nonsense as Judge Judy and will crack jokes. She's a bit "softer," often allowing things that Judy would not.

Judge Karen's security guy has been cast well -- he looks the part. He's only there for the sake of being there, and rarely becomes part of the proceedings.

3. Judge Mathis

This is where things start getting ridiculous. He's a jerk -- plain and simple. He makes every attempt to emulate Judge Judy's toughness, but comes across as being harsh for no reason. When Judge Judy is harsh, there's a reason -- it's her M.O. She knows exactly what she's doing -- very calculated. Judge Mathis is not. He will needlessly snap at people who come before him. He often slouches in the bench, being disrespectful of those before him.

He's preachy. I don't know how many times I've heard his spiel about being on the Steve Harvey show, about rap music and record companies, blah blah blah . . . You're there to rule on this dispute, not to feed me your agenda. I'm sure it's fun for TV, but not for "court."

And he LOVES to have his ego stroked. Every show I've seen includes statements of how much people like him and admire him. He loves it, and basks in the praise. I just cannot respect that.

And like I mentioned above, his security guy is a dork. Most of the people on the show could probably whup him in a fist fight.

4. Judge Hatchett

Ugh . . . this show was cancelled last year, but for some reason they still see fit to air reruns. I cannot stand this -- it's the picture of stupidity. Judge Hatchett is loud, dramatic, and annoying. She tries really hard to give the impression that she's caring -- a righter of wrongs; a hero. She wants to come across as being a role model for the younger generation -- and also for the African American community. However, she is so dramatic and full of herself that her facade backfires.

This is not "court" --  or arbitration -- or whatever. This is the Glenda Hatchett "look at me" show. I have ZERO respect for this woman, who uses a TV courtroom to try to make her big head even bigger. Zero.

Why does she take an entire show to drag out a "court-ordered" DNA test? Just bring out the DNA results and move on. But no, she takes the entire half hour to extract personal details from the parties involved, preaching and yelling until she finally comes to the dramatic "bring out the results!" part at the very end. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And what's up with these interventions? Can you really sue your "wild teen" for an intervention? WTF??? If I want crap like Jerry Springer and Maury, I'll turn to those wonderful shows. But what belongs on court TV shows is the settlement of a dispute -- not crap like this, no matter what kind of "feel-good" TV it makes for. And Hatchett sits back, just so damn smug and pleased with herself. "Look at me!" she's probably thinking. "Look at how wonderful a person I am!"

Now to her security guy. It seems to me that the producers of the show went to the nearest run-down trailer park, found the biggest guy there, and slapped a fake uniform on him. He's probably paid in cases of Budweiser cans. He bellows out the most ridiculous "All rise . . ." statement at the beginning of the show that I've ever heard. He's almost as dramatic as Hatchett -- and I can't stand him either.

Judge Hatchett's show is one big circus of stupid. I'm happy as can be that she was fired from TV.

As many of you know, I've been getting more and more into zombie comics, and I've been going through Ebay and my local comic shops to find all the zombie books I can. I bought the first couple issues of Dead Irons and the issue of Spider-Girl #13 with the variant zombie cover. I also bought an array of Zombie Tales issues from a seller named sonofbruno.

So I contacted sonofbruno yesterday to make sure he has shipped the comics. This is the response I got:

"Dude I said I send out within 2 days of payment. You paid me on March 22. I sent our Media Mail as advertised. Media Mail usually takes 7-12 days."

My response:

"I understand that. I wanted to make sure -- communication is extremely important to me. Do not get an attitude with me."

His response:

"Screw you Feel free to give me bad feedback Unlike you I am not poor and I don't like to have my time wasted by time wasters like you for chump change Get a life! I specified when I would send this and anyone with brain enough given my past feedback would understand that I am a reliable seller and people who buy from me get their products as stated. Get a life! Thank you for wasting 15 minutes of my day. I will not continue any more dialogue with you. Get a girlfriend not a comic book!"

My response:

"You've been reported, friend."

So I reported his email to Ebay. Hopefully something happens, because when I report "abuse" to them they assume I've been threatened with violence. That isn't the case here, but his response to me was certainly unwarranted.

I'm not even going to begin arguing with his statements, because he obviously doesn't know me at all. But all of the sudden, I'm glad I wasted 15 minutes of his precious time. I look forward to wasting much more of it.

But I will agree with him on one point: I also do not like having my time wasted by time wasters. I prefer to have my time wasted by more efficient people.

Bottom line: DO NOT deal with sonofbruno on Ebay. He's a complete dick.

I am just curious, though, about one thing . . . if this guy is as wealthy as he claims to be, why is he hawking comics on Ebay for a couple bucks each? I guess the economy's pretty tough right now.

I laughed as I watched them crush the Ravens for the third time this year. Lil' Joe Flacco ain't quite the hotshot everyone thought he was.

The problem with the Super Bowl is that I don't hate the Cardinals. It's great to see a team that has never gone to the Super Bowl make it that far. And from what I gather, Kurt Warner is a pretty good guy. But in the context of the game next Sunday, I have to hate them - because I love my Steelers.