You’ll remember my post about Mr. Fudgie Fudge. Even though he still frightens me beyond any horror movie, I continue to buy the fudge. I finally found the commercial, featuring the kick ass theme song.

There is an old urban legend that says “if you kill a praying mantis you can be fined up to $50.” But what if the mantis is bigger than a 2-story house? Well, that’s what’s at the drive-in this week as we dive into Universal’s The Deadly Mantis (1957). One neat little fact about the film is that the actor who did the voice for the famous “Robby the Robot” narrates the film. Now at first you might think that this movie is a documentary from 5th grade science class. At certain parts of this film, you’re not sure if you’re watching a b-movie or getting an education! I mean, this goes on for the first 12 minutes into the picture! (insert more stock footage for plot holes). I would personally recommend the MST3K version of this film for the simple fact that Mike and the “bots” really tear this movie to pieces!

So here is the plot. “For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action,” narrates the voice at the start of the film. A volcano erupts on a distant island and causes tremors across the North Pole, causing a giant glacier to crack and collapse, revealing our giant menace (yes, a giant insect in the North Pole — don’t ask, I don’t know either). OK, insert even more stock footage, and finally 15 or 16 minutes into the picture the film finally starts. On a small military station manned by two men, a distant buzzing sound is heard before the roof collapses on top of them. Meanwhile, Colonel Joe Parkman is worried that something is wrong with the station, so he sends out a search team. When they arrive they find the station is destroyed. A giant claw falls on top of them, nearly crushing the two searchers (he he, giant claw)! They take it back to the lab for investigation. After more [YAWN] chattering they finally figure out what it is! Yeah. They send out a plane to see if they can find it after it appears on the radar, and the plane never comes back. Surprise [insert more boring dialogue] and then the mantis finally strikes! OK, as if the poor Eskimos don’t have enough to deal with — polar bears, living in ice, gamera at one point (never vacation in the north pole) — the mantis attacks and the Eskimos flee.

The giant claw, as I referred to earlier, is actually a hook from the mantises giant pinchers. MORE DRAMA THAN THE MIDNIGHT PODCAST!!! Sorry Corey. Here comes the giant puppet! The mantis shows itself eventually right outside the base of Red Eagle One, as it’s referred to. Seeking a warmer climate, the mantis moves towards the USA. OK, enough already, the mantis tours Washington and New York, where it is rammed by Parkman and bails out of the plane at the last second — that was close! In the end, the mantis is trapped in a highway tunnel under the streets of New York!

Spoiler alert!! The mantis hides in the tunnels of New York, wounded and dying. Then the military comes in to gas the creature. The end.

On a scale from 1-10 I would give this a 4, BUT the MST3K version would be a 9! Go figure. Thanks Corey, and I’ll see you at the drive-ins for Creature from the Black Lagoon! This is misfit boy and I’m out!

Wanna hear my review of NOTLD Graveyard Zombie Bill Hinzman’s ultraviolent cheesefest? Go on over to Library of the Living Dead and listen to episode 101!

http://dr-pus.podomatic.com/entry/2010-03-20T20_13_04-07_00

I just wanted to post a quick note about some appearances on podcasts that have I’ve made over the past few weeks. I realized that I haven’t talked much about these, so here we go:

A Little Dead Podcast » A Little Comic Book Update (for 03 March 2010)
My friends at A Little Dead Podcast asked me to review the 4-issue release of The Crazies, and I had a great time doing so.

Dead Lantern Splattercast » The 3rd Annual Splatcademy Awards
This was fun, as I gave a highly slanderous presentation for Best Director.

Years ago, Ozzy Osbourne wrote a song called “Thank God for the Bomb,” and I would have to agree. Even for the simple fact that it gave horror fans something special: THE EMERGENCE OF THE ATOMIC GIANT BUG FILMS!

These were some of my favorites. Radiation played a big role in these films, along with atomic test sites. Now there is a documentary out there narrated by Billy Mummy called Attack of the 50 ft. Monster Mania — it’s an amazing doc. That goes through the years of giant bug and monster films.

Universal Pictures didn’t release this film on DVD until 2006. I, on the other hand, bought a laser disc transfer at a horror convention for $20 (pirates that sell copied movies should have their Achilles tendon cut and forced to run a marathon). But anyway, the actor that stars in this film is one of my all-time favorite actors, Mr. John Agar. He was in films such as The Mole People, Revenge of the Creature, The Brain from Planet Arous, and King Kong (1976) (he had a cameo as a city official), among many others.

Now, back in the 50’s, these types of films were popping up at drive-ins all across the country. Kids couldn’t get enough of them! I think the only bugs that were never made into monster movies were dung beetles and horse flies. I mean, Hollywood was pumping these films out left and right.

So here is the plot:

A man staggers through the Arizona desert until he collapses, and we see his face is deformed beyond recognition. The reason: 2 scientists have injected themselves with a growth serum that makes food grow twice its normal size for the growing number of people in the world. This experiment is being conducted by Professor Deemer a recluse who has decided to try his serum on lab animals (guinea pigs, lab mice, rabbits, and a TARANTULA). The animals are growing at an alarming rate. As he is working on his experiments, Paul (his other assistant) enters the room with a mangled face that only a mother could love, and injects Deemer with the serum. A fight ensues and a fire breaks out. Glass starts to shatter and the 3-foot tarantula escapes while Deemer puts out the fire. Deemer buries Paul in the desert and must find a replacement. Local authorities find the first assistant (Eric) and conclude that the cause of death is acromegaly,a rare disease. They ask Deemer if they can conduct an autopsy, and he declines. Dr. Matt Hastings (played by Agar) is upset by this, as the sheriff decided Deemer knows more about it than Matt. The next day Deemer invites a new assistant, Stephanie Clayton (or Steve as she is referred to), to work with him.

Meanwhile, the tarantula is loose and attacks a herd of horses. A car accident is discovered and the victims were devoured. Matt finds a pool of liquid by the remains and confirms it’s insect venom. As the film moves on, Matt and Steve begin a relationship as the tarantula is causing a deadly rampage across Arizona (the two drunks that get eaten by the tarantula is a classic 50’s death scene). Back at the lab, Steve has growing concerns about Deemer, who is beginning to deform also. He finally tells Matt and Steve what is going on and that the tarantula escaped.

Then, one evening as Steve is getting ready for bed, the tarantula (now the size of a house) is staring at her through the window! The tarantula destroys the house killing deemer but Matt shows up in time to save Steve. The tarantula moves into the small town and attacks. Machine guns and dynamite are ineffective, so it’s time to call the military.

SPOILER ALERT!

The military sends in fighter planes to drop napalm on the giant beast, and guess who the jet squadron leader is? Why, it’s none other than Mr. Gran Torino himself, Clint Eastwood! The napalm burns the tarantula and destroys it at the end, right before it enters the town.

I loved this film, and I would have to give it at least an 8 out of 10 for pure fun and enjoyment. If you like this one, you should also try Earth vs. the Spider — the MST3K version is hilarious!

Well that’s it for Tarantula! See you next time at the drive-ins! This is misfit boy and I’m out!

Do you know what was great about horror films back in the ol’ days? There were no battle lines drawn about horror movies. You either liked or disliked them. Horror was horror, and there was no “zombies are better than vampires” or any other BS like that. It was simple. Granted, a lot of critics hated most of them with the exception of a few like Them, The Thing, and others. But most critics didn’t care much for horror films. But kids did. And the best part about it was it didn’t matter what was showing — they would flock like sheep to see anything. Now those were real horror fans! Anyway, have you ever seen a film that’s so bad it’s good? Welcome to The Giant Claw. This is considered “one of the worst films ever made.” I personally enjoy this film for the simple fact it’s so bad. The movie has some of the worst narration, acting, and, most of all, FX (a giant puppet bird, with visible strings that Jim Henson would have laughed at). A lot of the film is made with stock footage (an easy way to fill story holes — and it’s cheap too).

Here’s the plot:

Mitch MacAfee (played by Jeff Morrow, who stared in such epic films as The Creature Walks Among Us, Kronos, and This Island Earth — he came back to the horror genre in 1971 for Octaman) is running radar tests while flying his plane when he spots a UFO. Nothing shows up on the radar screen but the military sends out a squadron of jets to investigate. Nothing is found. When Mitch returns to base, army officials are furious with him. Eventually they start to take him seriously after planes start to disappear.

The reason: a bird, “a bird as big as a battleship,” has been devouring plane after plane and their crews. This giant bird is from outer space and is even equipped with a force shield! Now it’s up to Mitch, his mathematician girlfriend, and the military to stop the winged horror! Mitch finds the bird’s giant egg and shoots it full of holes. This enrages the creature and it heads right towards New York City. Mitch and some scientists create some sort of anti-matter ray gun to stop the menace. In case anyone has yet to see this film, I wont give away the ending — BUT I will say it’s nothing short of hilarious. At one point in the film, the Giant Claw destroys major buildings in New York.

It’s a film worth watching. Many horror hosts of the 70’s would play this film quite a bit. And the bird itself looks like Warner Bros. cartoon character Beaky Buzzard. Yes, it looks that bad, but I would give it a 5 out of 10 for bad one-liners and even a space ship can be seen in the distance (stock footage from Earth vs. the Flying Saucers was even used!). Give it a watch — after all, it’s not a long film, and who wouldn’t wanna see one of the worst monster films ever made??!!

Well, see ya next time at the drive-ins! This is misfit boy and I’m out!

I’m very happy to introduce a new series here on the ol’ Midnight Corey blog: Monsters of Misfitboy. If you recall, Misfitboy did a fantastic run of reviews of George Romero’s zombie movies, and their sequels and remakes, on the Midnight Podcast. Now he’s back, and I’m proud to have my friend on the blog.

Days of the Drive-Ins

The drive in days are long gone (well most of them anyway). I used to love going on the weekend to see some of my favorite horror films. Unfortunately not many were shown at the nearest one by me. I always wondered how great it would be to raise some money & show a “movie madness” night. Imagine going to see Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead at the drive-in! Or even older horror films from the 50’s. well, those are the films I will be talking about. We’re going back in time when CGI had no definition. Special effects consisted of wires, puppets, and of course cheap makeup. But to me, those were the best.

I’m so nostalgic a person (I know this sounds dumb) I would take a drive-in DVD I have with a bunch of promos that they would show in the good old days, and I would splice it together with some of my favorite b-movies, take my equipment outside and watch some movies under the stars with my favorite beer. Sounds like a waste of time but it still gave me that feeling of being there. Anyway, I asked some people in the ages of 50-65 what their favorite horror films were at the drive-ins. NOTLD always came up, and everyone and their mother have reviewed it already. But I have found some good ones and some not so good ones that still have a place in my heart.

So with that, here are some of the films that were mentioned to me that I will re-watch and review.

THE GIANT CLAW
TARANTULA
THE DEADLY MANTIS
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (in 3-D)
THE GIANT BEHEMOTH
GODZILLA

And possibly some others. As always a special thanks goes out to Corey for allowing me to do this. See you at the driveiins!!

misfitboy

I watched this movie yesterday, planning on doing an in-depth review.

But I really had no idea what I would be subjecting myself to. This movie was so bad that I couldn’t finish it, despite the fact that we get 2 kills in the first 5 minutes. I’ll give this a very generous 1/10.

To preface my comments, I have some homework for you. Read this article: FreeDUMB of Speech? . . . which is in response to this article: An Open Letter To Gorezone Magazine. Please take the time to read the article and its comments, and you’ll understand why I and a lot of others are so upset.

Thank you to @thedarkhours on Twitter, who reportedly scored this article from @MikeCadaverLab.

To summarize, Dangerous Jamie wrote an open letter to Gorezone Magazine, respectfully criticizing their lack of proofreading and their continuous exploitation of women. Since then, Gorezone has threatened the author with legal action (calling the article “slander”) and has sent scores of its “faithful” readers to comment. The comments attack Dangerous Jamie personally, and are threatening. Gorezone readers have promised to spam the site until it crashes. The editor himself has commented (various spelling/grammar errors blemish his post), and he behaves just as ridiculously.

He posted his email address, so if you feel like you want to respond to Gorezone’s unacceptable actions, feel free to email him (I have): b.hammond@gorezone.co.uk

I’m not surprised. This has been my experience with so much of the “horror community” since I’ve become more and more involved in it in the past three years or so. “Horror fans” (many of whom often consider themselves to be the be-all-end-all of horror) who write, publish, blog, podcast, or whatever, tend to be hyper sensitive when it comes to criticisms about their own product, taking anything other than “Great job!” as a personal attack. And “horror fans” who religiously cling to some figure in horror — whether it’s an actor, director, magazine, podcast, blog, or whatever — also take criticism toward their beloved figure as a direct, personal attack (under the guise of being “loyal” or “faithful”). These people are no different than the terrorists who carry out actions because of their loyalty to Al Qaeda. That’s right.

I hold some pretty unpopular opinions. There have been times when I’ve expressed them — respectfully, thoughtfully, and without namecalling/attacking/etc. — and I am mobbed by angry Internet people who hold a different opinion, and don’t think that I am entitled to mine. It’s happened time and time again — I’ve experienced it directly.

It’s sad. Diversity of opinions is a wonderful, healthy thing to have. Yes, some people are right and some are wrong, but when respectful debate rots away to attacks, namecalling and threats, it’s out of hand.

The “horror community” already has enough negative stigma attached to it — everyone knows that. And things like this do nothing to clean up that image.

I just wanted to post this to remind you to go over to James Melzer’s web site and listen to episode 12 of UNLEASHED, featuring great discussion about new media/free content, an interview with writer Peter Clines, and a review of Candyman (1992) by yours truly.

And while you’re there, check out all the other great stuff Melzer has to offer. It’s well worth your time.

http://jamesmelzer.net/2010/02/unleashed-ep-12-peter-clines/